CROQUET:  New Croquet Glossary

by Daley Craig
 
Alive
able to get to the court unassisted
Backpeel
what you get from lying on your stomach in too much sun
Bisque
better with lobster than crab
Break
expected result from too much strain
Bye
southern for "so long"
Clear
opposite of what the rules are
Condone
a Sicilian enforcer
Croquet
what you do with two needles and yarn
Crush
to utterly defeat
Cut Rush
a liberal response (see Rush)
Double Elimination
a quick trip to the rest room between turns
Double Bank
twice as bad as one bank
Double Tap
a big party requiring teo kegs
Fault
type of partner's play
Green
the result of envy
Greensward
getting envious
Handicap
what my parents left me
Half Roll
part of a Tootsie
Hoop
the metal stanchions on each side of a stuffed shot
Jaws
the place in which you get stuck just before being attacked
Jump Shot
the predictable result of gross apprehension during a stroke
Last Dead
the condition of your brain during the previous shot
Misplaced Position
St. Elsewhere
Out of Bounds
an adventure camp for wayward boys
Out of Turn
a delaying tactic
Penultimate
to write a threat
Pass Roll
"Hello, Tootsie!"
Questionable Shot
your next one
Roll
Tootsie
Roquet
abbreviated croquet
Rush
a conservative; as in Limbaugh or Huhn
Scratch Player
one with hives
Shaft
(1) what you get when paired with less than the best partner
(2) what your partner always gets
Shot
inebriated
Shot Clock
a failed timepiece
Sight Line
a thin stripe on top of mallet slightly off center
Split
tights risk
Stalk
what Jack climbed
Strategy
a plan to win (contrast with Tactic)
Striker
a dissatisfied unionist
Tactic
a way to lose (contrast with Strategy)
Take Off
what you do when overdressed on a hot day
Tournament
a genteel gathering of belligerents